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Thursday, 8 December 2011

Coming up roses?

Not everything is coming up roses in my newfound baking bonanza.
It was a dark and stormy night last night and the Captain (Carlos) said to the Mate (me), “Mate, shall we bake a pizza?”
And the Mate began …
She got out the bowl, the ingredients and book, turned on the oven and made the “dog”.
The wind was blowing and the rain was lashing against the window and the night was getting darker and darker.  We just didn’t know how dark it was going to get.
The Mate was hungry.
The Captain was famished.
We tossed the pizza onto the pizza stone and into the oven, then quickly turned on “Grey’s Anatomy” to distract our hunger.
It was a terrible episode.
After the third resuscitation, the Mate got up.
“You’re getting up?”
“Yeah, I’m going to see how it’s doing.”
The Mate checked the pizza.   It looked terrible.
Outside the weather was … well, you know and cold, like 44 F (8 C) at a day of 81 F (27 C) day.  Shutup!  That’s cold wherever you are.
The Mate poured the Captain another drink.  She plied him with almonds, because she knew, like Old Mother Hubbard, what the state of the cupboard was.
Just when MacDreamy said something steamy, something went “POP” in the oven.  Or was it more like “THUD?” 
“Was that thunder or the oven?” said the Captain.
“The oven,” said the Mate.
“The oven, eh?  I’m not getting up.”  It was technically the Captain’s turn to get up and check.  But the Mate got up.
“You’re getting up?”
“No, it’s the TV, it’s a hologram.  Relax.  Have a blanket.”
“You’re getting up.”
“Yep, I’m going to check the pizza.”
“It’s just the cheese,” mumbled the Captain snuggling up under the blanket.
The mate threw open the oven.
“It’s exploded Captain, it wasn't thunder!” shouted the Mate, “All hands on deck!”
The pizza stone had blown apart.
It was a dark and stormy night, and the Captain said to the Mate, “Mate?  What’s for dinner?”
And the mate dialed, “I’d like to order a medium cheese pizza please.”


  1. Wow. That must've been some pizza.

  2. It went straight in the bin! Ha ha ha. I don't quite know where it went wrong ... but there you are, eh? xxx I wonder if I should have another stone. Hmmm


Unless otherwise noted, all articles are written by Cath Rathbone. (Copyright Catherine (Cath) Rathbone and Noony Brown)